Thoughts from a struggling Christian

Here’s the thing, my whole life up until college I was taught these things. I was taught that all people who were homosexual were confused and angry and depressed. I was taught that people should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and work hard and life would work out for them. That’s the key to success - hard work. I was taught that going to church meant loving Jesus. I was taught that worshipping God happened on Sunday mornings. I was taught that evolution was bad and that we should never question anything the Bible says or think about it on a deeper level. 

Then I moved out of my hometown, went to college, and graduated. During that time, I met tons of people from all different backgrounds and all different circumstances and I realized that everything I had thought was true maybe wasn’t. 

I realized that people who are homosexual can actually be really happy people. 

I realized that America as a whole has systems that need to be fixed for POC to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps.”

I realized that loving God is less about attending church and more about loving others. 

I realized that worshipping God looks a lot like quiet prayers and trusting him all days of the week.

I realized that actually science and faith have a lot of overlap and it wasn’t until recently that those things weren’t studied together.

I realized that questioning the Bible does not mean that you don’t believe in it because I truly believe everything the Bible says but it means asker deeper questions. It means stepping outside of what we’ve always know and looking at what really matters - the character of God.

Because the character of God looks a lot like loving our neighbor. The character of God looks a lot like extending a hand. The character of God looks a lot like speaking up when you don’t agree with things even when it’s hard. The character of God looks a lot like surrounding yourself with people who don’t look like you. Because the character of God is Jesus and he did all of those things. And that’s who we’re supposed to strive to be. Every single day to every single person.

And I’m struggling. I’m struggling because there are people telling me that Trump is a Christian and he wants to restore America back to God but he won’t condemn white supremacy. I’m struggling because the first people to respond with “All Lives Matter” are the same people who won’t combat systematic racism to ensure that Black Lives Matter so that all lives matter. I’m struggling because people are telling me that everything is a conspiracy and none of it matters but also that I need to risk my life or the lives of people around me to go vote in person. I’m struggling because “all of this will go away when the election is over” yet we’ve actually had a lot of these same issues during the whole life of America. I’m struggling because people are telling me not to vote for Biden when he’s pro-abortion but those same people turn their head at immigrants detained at the border or people locked in prison or feel no desire to support adoption or foster. 

I’m struggling because  we are taught that our Christianity is wrapped up in toxic political views. That somehow I’m less of a Christian because I’m not voting for Trump. But, here’s the thing - the Bible was actually written a really long time before America was here. I know, shocker! America isn’t God’s chosen country. Those things are lies we have made up because we are prideful people. So, if you’re like me, and you’re struggling with who to vote for or what to do or say to your friends and family, remember that we are called to love God, love others, and make disciples. That’s it. We don’t have to check some magical box on Election Day to be a Christian. And regardless of the outcome God is still God. Every single day and our job will always remain the same - imitate Jesus. 

Coronatine Thoughts

It has been a long while since I have blogged, but considering I have a lot of time, here it goes!

This is an unprecedented time for every single person. Yesterday, I literally cloroxed my mail - like things are just different. And, we could argue all day about whose different is actually worse and how this time is not as bad as another point in history, but we'd be missing the point - that it is in fact different. It's different than what we expected our lives to be like today. It's different in terms of who we see everyday. It's different in terms of how we do our jobs and maybe where we do our jobs. But, here's the thing about different, it's not always a bad thing. And, what I'm about to say is mainly for the people who are now working from home. And, just as a shout-out to you essential people, us non-essential people truly thank you for continuing to go out everyday and working hard!

Over the last couple of years, my life has been increasingly busy. It seems like up until two weeks ago I had not had a break in forever and I'm sure I'm not the only one. And, now I have all the time in the world. So, what am I doing with it? The first couple of days were filled with what if's. What if we don't go back to school? What if I don't get to say goodbye to my seniors? What if they don't get to finish their athletic season? What if I can't sell my house now? And, then, I realized something. Those things are very much out of my control. I can't change any of them. I can't fix them. And, it's not my job to. I can only control what I have control over - which is what I do with my day.

So, I made a list of all of the things that I've said, "I just don't have time for it" over the last year. And, here's my list.

1. Working out
2. Cooking/baking
3. Reading books
4. Truly diving in and spending time in scripture.

And, I realized something - I've spend at least a year burnt out. Burnt out as a teacher. Burnt out as a friend/family member. Burnt out just as a person overall. And, that burn out has gotten in the way of the ultimate goal - Love God. Love Others. Make Disciples. So, I decided that I would use this time to work on making better habits in my life. So, after I made my list, I made some goals:

1. Run, walk, strength train at least once a day.
2. Cook at least one new dinner recipe and one new dessert recipe a week.
3. Finish at least one book every week.
4. Read my entire Bible through before we go back to school.

These are all things I have not made time for recently. And, I'm not sharing these to brag or to tell you that this is how you should use your time. But, I want you to really think - what are things you have not made time for that you maybe miss doing or wish you had been doing? Because now you have time. See, this is an opportunity for us to create habits so that when we return back to normal life we can love God, love others, and make disciples and we can do that well. So, sure, rest, binge watch that show you want to watch on Netflix, but most importantly challenge yourselves to do the things you would have been doing all along if you would have had time. And, maybe, just maybe, you'll find that when this is all over you actually enjoy them so much that you put them in your normal life schedule. Don't waste this season even if it is different than what you think it should be.

What if it took more than one stone?

Last Sunday, the youth pastor at our church preached on David and Goliath. During the sermon, the question kept popping into my head, "What if David hadn't defeated Goliath on the first try?" Don't ask me why, but sometimes these thoughts pop into my head. 

Tonight, as I was studying for Sunday School tomorrow and Awanas this week, I was reminded of this question. It got me to thinking. What if Goliath hadn't fell the first time? Would we still teach it to our children? Would we still encourage them by telling them that God is on their side? That He can overcome any situation no matter how difficult it may seem? The answer I keep coming back to is, yes, we should.

You see the miracle of the story shouldn't be focused on the fact that Goliath was killed. Yes, that's awesome and God totally made it happen. But, you know what else He made happen? David's courage. And, that's a miracle in itself. 

You see, David was a scrawny little thing. He was no where near the size of Goliath and he wasn't even in the army. He wasn't trained to go against Goliath. He could have easily said, "Nope. Swerve." or the Biblical equivalent. But, he didn't. He refused to back down. He knew God had prepared him for this moment regardless of how it turned out. 

David had no clue how the end would turn out, but he had faith. Faith enough to know that God would take care of him regardless of the outcome. He knew God had plans for his life and he used his past experiences to guide him. He had killed a bear and a lion for Pete's sake! 

But, see, here's the thing. Sometimes Goliath's don't fall down with a single stone. Sometimes they don't fall down with a thousand stones. Sometimes they just stand, hovering, waiting to knock you when you're down. And, what do we do? Do we just sit there and wait for another David to come and fight for us or do we continue fighting for as long as it takes? 

How long do you think David would have spent throwing stones had the first one not worked? I mean, he had five but do you think he would have went back for more? What if he used up all the pebbles he could find? I think David would continue having the courage to stand and fight. Why? Because he knew that God was there. He knew that God had been there before and would continue to be there again. 

Life isn't fair. Sometimes it tries to knock us down. Sometimes our Goliath's won't fall. Sometimes we'll be the ones trying to put our Goliath's back together because we don't have the courage to live without them. But, God says, "Look. There's the bear you slayed before and here's the lion. You do what I ask and I'll take care of the rest." The only question that remains is will you continue fighting even if Goliath doesn't fall?

Let nothing be wasted.

"When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, "Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." - John 6:12

Over the course of the last couple of weeks, I have been working my way through the New Testament. Because of this, I have been re-reading parables and stories I have heard dozens of times in sermons, including the feeding of the five thousand. 

Although I have read and heard this story and it shows up in every Gospel, I found something new the other day. Yes, it is super cool and fantastic that Jesus fed all of those people and that is super important in giving us deeper insight into God as our provider, but the part that stuck out to me was Matthew 14:20 ("They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over"). Why? Why did Jesus need left-overs? For some reason, this just bothered me. I could not understand why Jesus who could easily conjure up His own bread would be concerned with left-overs. Couldn't He just make them disappear? 

So, why did Jesus want to collect the left-overs? The good thing about the Gospels is that a lot of the same stories are told in all four, the feeding of the five thousand being one. So, I perused through Mark and Luke. I still found nothing on why these left-overs were collected. Then, I found the verse mentioned above in John ("Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted"). Although this verse shows no indication as to what the left-overs were used for, it does tell me what Jesus thought about the left-overs. 

Jesus knew something that we don't. You see, to get to these left-overs, Jesus had to first break the bread. Like physically, take five different loaves of bread and break them. Then, He fed the people. Then, He told His disciples to go round up the extras. Maybe the extras were all in one spot or maybe they were scattered among the five thousand. We do not know, but He still wanted them gathered. 

Now, for just a second, I want you to think about yourself as the bread. Have you been broken lately? Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or all at the same time? Maybe you have been hurt by friends, a boyfriend, girlfriend, family members, or even the church (I know these are all so shocking). But, did you ever think that these people aren't really in control of the breaking? If Job in the Old Testament is any indication, sometimes God allows a little breaking. Sometimes He allows us to feel shattered. Sometimes He allows bad things to happen so that He can use us. And, that's okay. It's okay to let God break you. 

But, here is the comfort. In this story, He collects the left-overs, the broken pieces of bread, whether they were all in one spot or scattered throughout. He gathers them, because He says, "Let nothing be wasted." You might be like me. You might be searching for a reason as to why the left-overs need to be collected, but maybe we should focus more on the fact that the need was there regardless of if we understand what the need is. He was not going to let the left-over, broken pieces of bread be wasted. That is our comfort: Jesus will not let anything be wasted. We may not know the reason. We may not understand the reason that twelve basketfuls of broken pieces need to be collected. The point is that with Jesus there is always a reason. He will not let your brokenness be wasted. So, be willing to break. Be willing to say, "God, break me so you can use me." The bread was no good in five whole pieces just as, sometimes, we cannot truly be used until we are vulnerable and broken. 

So, be hopeful. Let yourself be broken for none of the scattered pieces will be wasted. 

Doer: the person who does something

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." - James 1:22

Nothing ruins your plans to go to sleep early like being wide awake. Well actually, it's being so wide awake that you decide to check social media and see an adorable photo of a super sweet guy kissing a baby (if you're reading this, aca-awkward). It's in that moment that I realized I was not at Passion anymore.

For those of you who don't know, I spent the weekend in Atlanta at Passion. There I got so close to God that it felt like me and God were in our own little bubble. But, now, the bubble seems to have burst. I feel like a little kid who tries to blow this really huge bubble only to have their sibling stick their finger through it and end up with a sticky face.

But, then, something happened. I opened Pandora. I don't really know why. It was either that or play "Dear John, " by T Swizzle, and considering I haven't listened to that song in about a year (not on purpose anyway), I decided to leave it be. But, anyway, I digress. So, I opened Pandora and my Andrew Ripp radio was playing. He has an amazing voice, but that wasn't the best part. The best part was that his song "Peace Like a River" came on. No, this is not a Christian song, but one of my best friends shared it with me just because (without knowing I had the some of the toughest weeks of my life). In this moment, it was pure comfort. Because you know who planned that song just then, God. 

It was in that moment that I realized the bubble was still there. God is just waiting on me to continue drawing closer to Him. This past weekend we sang many amazing songs. One song repeated the lines "I draw near, I draw near to you. You draw near, you draw near to me." God didn't stop chasing after me this weekend. I just needed a reminder that I needed to draw near to Him. He is still surrounding me with comfort and peace just as He did this weekend.

The only problem is that when you aren't surrounded by 20,000 other people who are worshipping with you, it becomes a little harder to focus. For those of you who don't know me, my mind runs a hundred miles a minute. I'm usually thinking about either how attractive some boy is or how much is on my to-do list, and if it's the month of January, my birthday. This makes me sound really self-absorbed. Maybe I should clarify, these are typically what occupy my mind when I'm alone. When I'm surrounded by others, I'm usually good at focusing on them, okay I'm alright at focusing on them. Unless it's January, then I'm probably thinking, "Should I invite them to my birthday dinner or nah?" But, anyway, hundred miles a minute. I get so caught up in myself, even when I'm reading my Bible or praying. But this weekend, I was surrounded by people all doing the same thing: drawing closer to God. And, we learned a lot. But just like all that has been learned, it needs to be applied. God reminded me tonight that the things I learned at Passion needed to be applied in order for them to mean something.

We all go through these points in our life. We all have a really awesome church service and we leave and that's about it. We don't carry that feeling over for the rest of the week. We don't let what we learn encourage us to apply it. And, if I've learned anything in my education classes, application is an awesome learning tool. Students thrive off of it. Not applying something, is not okay. As a future teacher, if my  students know how to work a pedigree but have no idea how to determine the percentage of someone being born color-blind or how it could impact future generations, what does it matter? What does it matter if God is trying to teach us something and we don't apply it? I'm speaking as much to myself as anybody. So much so, that this weekend I told my family group at Passion that my relationship with Christ was suffering because of my lack of application. I read my Bible daily and attend church, lead Bible Study, and go to FCA every week, and God teaches me all of these awesome things. But I seldom apply them. I find comfort in them. I write them down in pretty fonts. I hang them on my bulletin board, and there they stay. I refuse to do this anymore and I don't want this for you either. I don't want whoever is reading this to say, "Yeah, that's such a great idea" and then never give it another thought. So can we all just make a promise, that we will start applying things? That we will let God use us for whatever? That we will draw near to God so that He can draw near to us? I am out of room to pin things on my bulletin board but I am not out of things to apply. Things that will make me a better Christian. Things that will help me draw near to Christ.

We need to stop quoting and start doing.

Be the person who does something about what God is trying to teach them. Be a doer.

Run to Christ

"But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me even though many oppose me." - Psalm 55:16-18

Psalms are absolutely beautiful. They can speak to us in times of joy and sadness, heartache and happiness, distress and peace, etc. The list goes on and on. And, do you want to know why they can speak to us in so many different ways? First and foremost, they are inspired by an almighty, caring God who knows our every need and responds to them, but also because most of them were written by David. Do you want to know who David was? He was a shepard, a giant slayer, adulterer, murderer, and a man after God's own heart. Now, those don't all exactly go together, but that's a story for another day. Regardless, the Psalms were written by someone who felt all the emotions we feel and he went through Old Testament versions of our own struggles. But, do you know what he did when things got hard? He turned to God. 

If you read all of Psalm 55, which I encourage you to do, you will get the whole picture of what I'm about to say. But, for now, specifically look at verses 6-8. They say, "I said, 'Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest -  I would flee far away and stay in the desert; I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.'" Now, I'm not sure if you all think those verses are as beautiful as I do. But, I think they are beautiful. Mostly because I have definitely felt this way on multiple occasions. 

Sometimes it would be so nice just to run away. And, sometimes you know what God says? He says, "Why don't you run?" In Matthew 11:28 he says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Why is it so easy for us to feel like running from our problems but so hard for us to run to the person who wants us there? Jesus does not promise to take away our problems, but he does promise us rest and that's what David needed at this particular point in his life. And, that's what God did. He ransomed him unharmed from the battle waged against him. 

We are going to face problems. You can't run from them but you can run to someone who already has them all figured out. See, that's why God can give you rest, because he knows what the end looks like. He knows what grade you will make on that test. He knows when your future husband will come along even if you think you have already missed your chance with the person you thought was "the one." He knows how much you miss that friend or family member you lost. He knows every intricate detail about every problem you are facing which means he knows just what to do when you come running to him. He knows how it will all turn out in the end. David knew that God would be there, and so do we. The last words of my Pastor's sermon the other day were, "If  you can just hold on to God, it really will be okay. It may not be the okay you want, but it will be the okay you need." And, that applies to every situation you will face. God has it under control even if sometimes you want to run away or you literally want to lay in your bed all day and watch Netflix while you cuddle with your pillow pet and avoid people. God knows what he is doing. Don't doubt that. Don't doubt God's unfailing love for you. And, always remember that God never gets tired of you. He never gets tired period. So, even when your problems are too much for you, they will not even be scratching the surface of what God can handle. And, that's why David could confidently say, "But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me even though many oppose me."

God's Chocolate Fountains

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfullness." - Lamentations 3:22-23

This morning I had the pleasure of teaching my Mom's Sunday School class. It was super last minute. Like our teacher was running behind, so I decided to help him out. So, I opened my Bible to teach on Matthew 6:13 because I have been studying it for a devotional. I was then drawn to Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." I taught my lesson. And, by "taught my lesson," I mean I rambled on in that "oh, hey, I'm not sure what to say so let me just start rambling whatever comes to mind." Thankfully, God doesn't need any planning to say what He needs to. Somewhere in the midst of my rambling, I compared forgiveness to a never-ending chocolate fountain. Because who doesn't love a never-ending supply of chocolate? Ya know, besides me? I'll think of it as a white chocolate fountain and you all can think of it as a dark chocolate fountain, milk chocolate, whatever you would consume all day if you could. Over the course of the day I've thought of the truthfulness of that statement. We can forgive because God forgave us a long time ago when He died for our sins. He was completely perfect and CHOSE to die on the cross for us completely imperfect humans, because He loves us. He suffered and died for us. And, yet, we can't even forgive someone who cut us off in traffic three weeks ago. Why is that? It all goes back to us being completely imperfect humans. See, we run out of forgiveness because we run out of other things (i.e. patience, compassion, thoughtfulness). We neglect to that the world is full of people other than us. Maybe that person who cut you off had a medical emergency come up in their family or maybe on a more positive note someone they love told them they had found out some very exciting news and they were racing to find out what it is. But, we don't think of these things. We simply think "how in the world could they have cut ME off?" What if Christ had said, "How in the world could I forgive them when they hurt ME?" Imagine if Christ thought in capital "ME's." Where would we be? The good news is that He doesn't. He thinks in terms of love, compassion, grace, and forgiveness. And, He's got a never-ending supply of them! But, does Christ hold all of them for Himself? No, of course not, He shares them with us. He says, "Here's another round of grace for doing the same thing you did last week." Because His mercies are new every morning. He only asks that we share. He asks that we forgive as He has forgiven us. His segment of the chocolate fountain pours into our segment and it overflows into someone else's. That's what chocolate fountains do or else they wouldn't be fun to watch or dip things in. We know what it feels like to be poured into every morning and we should jump at the opportunity to pour into someone else so we can all enjoy some of God's awesome chocolate fountains. He has many flavors including: grace, forgiveness, mercy, hope, faith, love, etc. Which are you in need of today? Which should you be sharing more of? And, just think God's chocolate fountains are calorie AND guilt-free!

Why #foreveralone is not okay!

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

You know what has become one of my biggest pet peeves lately? Putting yourself down. As girls, we are so quick to compare ourselves to other people and put ourselves down. You know who we're helping? No one. You know how much good that's doing? None. Now I won't pretend that I have never put myself down, because I certainly have. But, it's time to stop. 

And, I think part of this starts with this new-found notion that just because we don't have a boyfriend at age 16, 21, 30, etc. we are destined to be #foreveralone. We are so quick to use this phrase. "Oh, I look so rachet today #foreveralone." "I just ate a pint of ice cream, 20 oreos, and 15.2 girl scout cookies #foreveralone." We are all guilty of saying these things and more, myself included. But, you know what this says? I am alone because of me not because of any plan God has for my life. 

God's plans are so much greater than the sweatpants we rock everyday or the oreo, extra oreo milkshakes we consume almost weekly. His plans include the desires of our heart. That's a big deal! God has placed certain desires within us and He knows just when and how to fulfill these desires. Am I saying that every girl's desire is to be someone's wifey? No, but it is one that comes up a lot. And, by us constantly saying #foreveralone, I feel like we are basically saying that God won't ever fulfill the desires He has given us. And, to me, that just isn't Biblical.

But, this verse also says something else. It says, "Delight yourself in the Lord..." What does this mean for us? It means that we should take delight in who we do have in our life: a God who sent His son to die on a cross FOR US! That's really all we could ever need, but God chooses to give us much more than that. He gives us family and friends and the desires of our heart. So, on top of His rich love, grace, and mercy, God ices the cake with the desires of our heart. He loves us so much that He is willing to give us what we desire. This desire could be a job, a husband, etc. But, we have to trust in what God can do and not rely on ourselves. 

Romans 8:25 says, "But, if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." If your desire has not been filled yet, then you should hope for the desires of your heart and then wait for them patiently. You know what this means? It means STOP putting yourself down, and, STOP comparing your love life with others. Because, ultimately, you have no idea what God's plan for your life includes and your desires could change tomorrow. God knows just what we need, when we need it. So, STOP being that person who claims to be #foreveralone. I know, I know this is easier said than done, but it starts with you believing just what Psalm 37:4 says.   

Before, In, and After: God is still Good.

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, 'O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.'" - Daniel 3:16-18

Over the course of this year, I have shed more tears than I probably have in my life second only to middle school career. And, I HATE CRYING! I really do. It makes me feel childish and most of the time my problems are pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but the tears still come. They have come because of grades, questioning God's plan for my life, boys, and, more recently, friends who have simply become acquaintances. 

So, tonight as I was thinking about this last week and, furthermore, this entire year, I was looking to expand a few of my boards on Pinterest. And, I saw this: 

It was one of the first pins I saw when I got on, and, boy, did I need it. I keep thinking that life gets easier. That life is eventually going to be like the series finale of a TV show or the ending of romcom where everything is rainbows and butterflies and they live happily ever after. But, it has yet to happen and maybe it never will. But, as I was looking at this pin and as I opened my Bible to read the whole story, I thought to myself that the ending isn't as important as the outcome. And, you know what the outcome is? God is good. Period. Point-blank. Done. That's the outcome. 

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego could have died in that furnace. They could have been burned to ashes. But, they faced that furnace anyway, because they already knew the outcome. They knew that God was in control. They knew that God works all things for the good of those who love him (Rom. 8:28). Now, you may say, "Wait, that verse wasn't even around during the Old Testament times." And, no it wasn't. But, it's truth was. And, that same truth is still true today. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego trusted in this fact. They knew that regardless God had things under control and they trusted in His goodness to get them through a literal furnace. Now, I'm sure we haven't had too many literal furnaces to walk through lately. But, if you're like me, there have been quiet a few metaphorical furnaces. And, you know, in the end, God is still good. 

But, there is no way that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego would have even said what they said to the king without having a love for God. And, this love comes from the fact that God is good. They loved God, and they knew that He would take care of them. They trusted fully in his love and goodness to get through the furnace, because He had probably proven to them multiple times before that He would take care of them regardless. 

And, I know you're probably thinking, "Catherine, don't forget to mention the highlight of the story." Many of us know. It's what made us feel invincible when we were children. It made us feel like we could take on the world. If you want, I encourage you to read the whole story for yourself (Dan. 3). It's pretty great. But, if not, I'll go ahead and tell you: God got right there in the furnace with them. Three people went in. Four people were seen in the furnace. Three people walked out, clean as whistles. 

There is a saying that "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." But, I don't really think this is true at all. Instead, I think that when the going gets tough, the tough get God. I haven't seen any furnaces with standing room, but I have started a few fires in our wood stove. And, let me tell you, it is hot and dirty in there. I'm sure the furnace that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were in was even hotter and dirtier. But, God was in there right along with them. He could have easily saved Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego without entering the furnace. He's God, remember. But, He chose to get right in there anyway. He's God, remember. He isn't afraid of our messy, dirty lives. He isn't afraid to wipe our tears away. And, if we're being honest, He's the only one who can even remotely understand the pain that you feel every time you look at someone. He's the only one that knows how worried you are about your life. And, He's the only one who knows why you sometimes cry some seemingly insignificant reason. He's the only one who understands you enough to give you just what you need at exactly the right time (even if it is a pin on Pinterest). Sure, people can say kind words to you and try to understand what you're going through. In the end, though, we're all humans struggling to get through life, which is why we need God. Because He is good. All the time. Before the furnace. In the furnace. After the furnace. He is good. He is God. 

The Greatest Blessing of All

"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever." - Psalm 73:26

   

You know what I am really tired of hearing? Things like, "Dance with the Lord and He will let the right man cut in." and "A man should be so focused on God that the only reason he looks down is because God says 'that's her." and every other saying on Pinterest memes. Maybe I'm just bitter. Maybe I'm just someone whose been single too long with no husband in sight. But, regardless, these things get on my nerves. And, you know why? Because this sends the message that we should serve God to gain something.

I already did gain something. I gained eternal life through the blood of Jesus. We read stories like Job and we say, "Man, look how faithful Job was and God rewarded him." But, you know what? Job had no idea what the outcome was going to be. He had no idea that God would multiply everything he had. But, Job was still faithful. He still worshiped every opportunity he got. Job could have easily thrown in the towel and stopped serving God, but he didn't. And, not because he wanted something from God, but because he loved God! Imagine that! A love so awesome that it doesn't rely on these things we can receive but from simply loving God. 

These sayings also send the message that if we aren't getting the things we want, if we aren't getting that hot football player who loves the Lord, if we aren't getting that dream job making at least a hundred thousand dollars that something is wrong with us. And, you know what? Something is wrong with us. We are humans! We mess up, we say the wrong things, we laugh at the wrongs times, and we sin. Which is why if our blessings were based on us, we would never get them. But, blessings aren't based on us, they are based on our Father! Because He loves us. And, to thank Him we should love Him back. 

Okay, maybe one day you will get that dream job, maybe you will get a pay raise, maybe you will get that white picket fence you have always dreamed of. But, it won't be because you have done enough to earn God's blessings. It will be because He already loves you and wants what's best for you. Now I am not saying that you shouldn't love and serve Him every chance you get. But, love and serve Him because He is yours forever. Like the verse above says God is ours forever! God doesn't go away. He doesn't get tired of us. He doesn't run away at the first sign of a nervous breakdown. He doesn't run away at the first sign of our own weakness. He loves us and that is why we should love and serve Him. Not because we are trying to get something. 

God loves us so much that He sent His own Son to die on the cross for us. I can truly say that is the greatest blessing of all. So, I'm tired of dancing with God because I want the right man to cut in. I'm tired of running head on towards God in the hopes of crossing the finish line with a husband. From now on, I want to dance with God simply to enjoy His presence. I want to run straight towards God because His love is amazing. I want to daily soak in His words and His love and share His love with others because everyone deserves to feel the love God has for us. 

Its Time

Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time..."

It constantly amazes me how awesome God is. Today we had our annual Freshman Worship Service in our beautiful chapel. And, every time I am in a worship service I can't help but think of the people who make up the worship service and what they symbolize. 

As we were singing today, I was thinking about all the voices I heard around me and you will probably recognize these same voices in your worship services. For example, you have the really deep bass guy. You also have the beautiful female voice a few seats over who would never actually have the courage to sing in front of people. You have the person behind you who is so far from key and many other voices. Then, you have the leaders and the band. The funny thing is the service would not be complete without each of these distinctive members. Just like the body of Christ is not complete without all of it's members. 

Today, as I was singing, I was thinking about how awesome God is and how only He could bring each of these distinctive members together to make a whole complex body. He brings the broken. He brings the people who have no clue what they are doing with their lives. He brings those who are far from where they should be. He brings the leaders and the followers. And, He makes them beautiful. 

The funny thing about timing is it is not always our timing. As one of my good friends pointed out as he was speaking today, the verse says "its" not "ours." "He has made everything beautiful in its time" So, if I showed up to worship at 8:00 and someone else showed up at noon, it would not be as beautiful. However, we have a set time to worship just like God has a set time for things to happen in our lives. So, if your situation isn't beautiful now, give it time! 

But Take Heart!

"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! For I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

Hands down, this is my favorite Bible verse in the world! So, I thought I would dissect it a little bit this afternoon. 

The first sentence says, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace." Previously, Jesus has told His disciples that soon He will not be with them in body any longer. However, He wants them to remember all that He has taught them and remember these things. Because, He wants them to have peace. And, He has given them instructions for how to have peace. And, we can share in that same peace through Jesus, which is a spectacular thing. But, then Jesus continues...

The sentence directly after states, "In this world you will have trouble." OH NO! Jesus is telling His disciples this! He is telling them they WILL have trouble. He isn't saying, "Here are some comforting words just in case you hit a rough patch or two." He is saying this because they will have trouble. And, we all know that the disciples are not alone. We, also, have had, will have, and are going to have trouble. We are going to hit many rough patches. We are going to get knocked down. We may even get kicked while we are down. 

This next sentence always sticks out to me. "But take heart!" Now, up until today, I had not really thought much about what this phrase meant. So, I googled "what does the expression 'take heart' mean" and clicked on the very first link. It contained three definitions of the phrase "take heart." The first one said, "to receive courage or comfort from some fact." The second one said, "to start to feel more hopeful and more confident." And, lastly, the third one said, "to feel encouraged." I then googled what "but" means. I know this may sound funny, but sometimes we grow accustomed to words and don't really focus on their meanings as much. According to Google, "but" is "used to introduce something contrasting with what has already been mentioned." So, let's put these together! The words "But take heart!" mean to be encouraged because Jesus is contrasting what He just said with something that will encourage us! 

And, what should encourage us? Jesus says, "I have overcome the world." Now, notice this is past tense. As in, Jesus has already overcome the world. And, also notice, that it is a definite. It doesn't say, "For now, I have overcome the world." Jesus says, strongly, "I have overcome the world." Jesus is saying, "Stick a fork in it, I have control." Isn't that awesome?! Jesus has overcome the world! And, that's not even the best part! The best part is the reason behind it. And, do you want to know that reason? US! You! Me! Your neighbor across the street! Jesus overcame the world for us! He overcame the world so that through Him we could all have peace, because He loves us! He loves us so much that He died on a cross for our peace! That's awesome! 

So, now let's put everything back together, because that's when things work best. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." God wants us to have peace! God knows that peace isn't something we can have in this world. So, what does He do? He sends us son to take over the world, so we can have that peace. But, that's the thing about this peace He is talking about. It comes from God. It doesn't come from this world. It doesn't come in the form of a blunt, a bottle, or someone else's bed. It comes in the form of a man on a cross! It comes in the form of salvation, which is freely given!

Now, some of you may be thinking, "I have been saved but my life is still hitting bump after bump. I feel like I'm riding a crowded van in Costa Rica." And, you know what, you might be. Because that's life! I hate to say it, but it is and we all know it. Life isn't easy, because we live in a broken world. But, God is saying that true peace that doesn't depend on circumstances is here! Maybe it's been a while since you felt that peace! But, that doesn't mean that peace has gone! Jesus is waiting there with open arms saying here's your peace! Because, you know what sometimes Christians crumple. Sometimes, we still feel down, we still feel broken. But, we aren't because God has us. And, He has already overcome the world for you, so don't let the world overcome you! Have faith! One of my favorite songs is "Give Me Faith" and the bridge goes: "I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me. My flesh may fail. But, my God, You never will." Although we are powerless against the world, the world is powerless against God! So, when you think you can't go one more step, God is there to carry you on. So, take heart in this fact, because it says so in God's instruction manual! 

God's Got His Own Clock

"...And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" -Esther 5:14

I don't know about you guys, but I would definitely be terrified in Esther's position! Women in the Bible days waited on the calling of their husbands. She had little power even in her position. Yet, Mordecai is still telling her that she may have been placed in her position to save all the Jews. I can see myself now in her position. "You've got to be kidding me! No way am I going try and stop all of this! What can I even do?!" 

But, Esther had faith. Not only was it faith in God, but faith in His timing. No, He certainly doesn't call us to save a whole lot of people, but He does call us! He calls us to trust Him, to honor Him, and to praise Him! But, how do we trust, honor, and praise Him if we don't even have faith in His timing!

My whole life I have struggled with being single. I have been single all twenty years of my life. And, I have spent many days crying over boys that God hasn't "given" me, so to speak. I have spent a lot of time angry at people around me in relationships or people who were always so happy mostly because I felt so alone, even around my dearest family and friends. Being single is not easy. And, although I know I'm not alone because I have God, it is probably one of the hardest things I deal with. And, I try not to let loneliness get the best of me, but sometimes I just can't help it. Don't get me wrong I love my life, but I wouldn't mind adding a boyfriend to the equation.

But, my question is, "Am I lonely because I don't have a boyfriend? Or, am I lonely because I am not fully trusting in God's timing?" If it is God's will for me to have a boyfriend then I will have one when He is ready for me to have one. To truly live my life to honor God, I must have faith in His timing. And, this includes my plan to have a boyfriend and so much more. 

Last year, my grandmother passed away from cancer. Did I want this to happen? No way! I wanted her to be around to see my little cousins graduate high school, to see all of us graduate college, to meet her great-grandkids, to live to be at least 100. But, she didn't. And, yes, it's sad, but it was God's timing. My family has grown closer because of it. And, my sister's faith has changed drastically since it happened. And, we have all grown closer to God. What if it had happened a couple of years down the road? Would it have changed us the same way? Would it have made us better Christians? What if she would have died of old age? Would my sister have gained the incredible testimony and determination to be a better Christian? Maybe. But, with God's timing, these things were definite.

God has His own clock. And, typically, it is not set with our clocks. And, you have to learn that it's okay. What if Esther had been born a few years later than she was? What if the Jews had been threatened when Vashti was queen? Would the world be the same? 

So next time something doesn't match up with your plan, have faith in God's timing. Because in the end, His clock is the only one that matters.

Graceful

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." -2 Corinthians 12:9

According to dictionary.com, graceful means, "characterized by elegance or beauty of form, manner, movement, or speech." Woah! I am not that! I know we are all probably thinking that exact same thing. But, here's the thing, if we are saved, WE ARE GOD'S CHILDREN! 

Do you know what that means? We aren't supposed to be graceful! But, we are FULL OF GRACE! 


Being full of grace is so much different than being graceful. Do you know what that means? It means it's okay to not be graceful! Things it's okay to do when we are full of grace: SCREW UP, FAIL, LOSE, FALL, TRIP, STUMBLE, ETC. And, do you want to know why? As Tenth Avenue North put it in their "Overflow Devotional," "In Christ, we are free to fail, we're free to screw up. Because when we do, we fall into an ocean of grace." Screwing up, failing, and all those other things I mentioned above are okay! They really are, because, if we are children of God, we have arms to fall into, we have a shoulder to cry on, WE HAVE GRACE! 

As 2 Corinthians 12:9, states God's grace is sufficient for us! And, it goes even beyond that! HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN OUR WEAKNESSES! When we do fall, stumble, screw up, fail, God catches us then uses us! He doesn't let our struggles be in vain. HE USES THEM! He uses the times we fail to say my child is okay because I am more powerful than any of their circumstances! HOW GREAT IS THAT?!

But, you know, the Bible does not stop after that verse. The next verse says, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10). So, what do we do with our screw ups and failures? Do we stick them in a box and try to ignore them until they no longer haunt us? No, WE BOAST IN THEM! We say, "Here is everything I have been through and this is how God used me!"

Too often, we get caught up in this ideal that we should not fail! We think we have to be perfect because we are Christians. We think we need to be an example to the world, and we do! But, maybe we're setting the wrong example. We probably think that we need to be completely perfect, or at least appear to be. BUT WE DON'T! These two verses prove it! GOD'S POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS! How will the world know about God's grace, if we don't show them?  

So, why don't we boast?! Why don't we go around telling people about our struggles?! Struggling is part of grace. Grace is there so that we can struggle! We are free to fail, free to screw up, free to stumble, etc, because grace is so much bigger than our struggles! 

So, here's my challenge to you today: BE HUMAN! Struggle, fail, screw up! Now I'm not saying intentionally fail! But, we are human, so strive to be all that you can be, and when you do fail, BOAST! Let God pick you up! Let Your Father dust you off! And, then BOAST! BECAUSE WE MAY NOT BE GRACEFUL, BUT WE ARE FULL OF GRACE! 

Giving even after the end

The temple I am going to build will be great, because our God is greater than all other gods. But who is able to build a temple for Him, since the heavens, even the highest heavens, cannot contain Him? Who then am I to build a temple for Him, except as a place to burn sacrifices before Him?" - 2 Chronicles 2:5-6

Wow! Just wow! These two small verses speak volumes.

There is so much we can take and apply to our lives all throughout God's Word and this is no exception.

• "The temple I am going to build will be great, because our God is greater than all other gods."
• Solomon is humbled. He does not claim, "The temple will be great, because I am great." He realizes that nothing is truly great without the power of an even greater God. When we wholeheartedly commit to doing something that honors God, He will make it great. Because His power will be all over it. 
• "But who is able to build a temple for Him, since the heavens, even the highest heavens, cannot contain Him?"
• God is not and cannot be contained by us. But, His lack of confinement goes even beyond that. He cannot be contained by time, place, or situation. Just because we are stuck between a rock and a hard place does not mean God is. He can move the rocks and the mountains to overcome any situation, because nothing can contain Him. 
• "Who then am I to build a temple for Him, except as a place to burn sacrifices before Him?" 
• Our offerings are in our intentions. Solomon was humbled by how amazing God was. And, he knew that God could not be defined or confined by humanly things. Therefore, he made the temple as a place to SACRIFICE! Do you know what that means? It means that Solomon's intent was to build something for God and continue doing things for God long after the building was done. Solomon could have easily said, "I built this temple. I have done my part." But, he made something that He could continuously give to God in. 

Many times we find ourselves doing things for God and think our job is done at the end of a church bingo, a mission trip, or the signing a check. But, our sacrifice and gifts to God shouldn't stop because we think something is completed. God sent His son to die on the cross for us, which should have been an ending, and yet this Sunday we will celebrate the fact that His death was not an ending at all, but a beginning. THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE! 

My question is, "Why do we think that our sacrifices and gifts to God should stop after a certain event? Why don't we feel the need to constantly give everything we have to God?" The answer isn't easy. Maybe it's because giving our everything to God may call us to go places we never would have gone otherwise. Maybe we are afraid that God will call us to give up something we want to harbor for ourselves. Maybe we think that we have already done a lot, now it is someone else's turn to give something to God. Whatever the reason, we need to overcome it and place everything we have into the hands of a Savior who cannot be confined and can use everything we give Him to do whatever He wants anywhere, anytime, any place. We should continue giving even after the end of our "building" whether it be a mission trip, a Bible study, or a church service. Because God didn't stop giving of His love at what should have been the end of His son's life. 

What's with the title?

Why did I choose to call my blog "The Salty Socialite?"  Why "salty?" According to urban dictionary, it means that I just got played or looked stupid or maybe I am mad about something. However, according to God's precious word, it is something we should long to be as Christians. In Matthew 5:13, Jesus tells us that Christians should be "the salt of the earth," and, salt that is not salty is no longer good and must be "thrown out and trampled underfoot." But, how do we keep ourselves from being no good? How do we become the "salt of the earth?" By simply being who God has made us to be. God made me loud and outgoing, so I try to be loud and outgoing for Him. Which is why I chose the word "socialite." We have to use the talents He has given us and the personality He has given us to honor and glorify His name, which is what I try to do daily. But, this blog is not just made for me. It's made for the people who want to read it. You do not put one grain of salt on your french fries to flavor them. You put a lot on there. Well, this world needs a lot of salt. It needs people to flavor it with God's love and grace. Although one grain of salt can add some flavor, multiple grains of salt can flavor the entire world and change it completely. To do that, we are all going to need encouragement, which is what I hope to provide with this blog. I hope whoever reads it, whether they read one sentence, a whole post, or even every post, will get something from this through the words God will give me to share. In turn, I hope that we can help to keep each other salty so that we can flavor the entire world.