Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Thoughts from a struggling Christian

Here’s the thing, my whole life up until college I was taught these things. I was taught that all people who were homosexual were confused and angry and depressed. I was taught that people should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and work hard and life would work out for them. That’s the key to success - hard work. I was taught that going to church meant loving Jesus. I was taught that worshipping God happened on Sunday mornings. I was taught that evolution was bad and that we should never question anything the Bible says or think about it on a deeper level. 


Then I moved out of my hometown, went to college, and graduated. During that time, I met tons of people from all different backgrounds and all different circumstances and I realized that everything I had thought was true maybe wasn’t. 


I realized that people who are homosexual can actually be really happy people. 


I realized that America as a whole has systems that need to be fixed for POC to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps.”


I realized that loving God is less about attending church and more about loving others. 


I realized that worshipping God looks a lot like quiet prayers and trusting him all days of the week.


I realized that actually science and faith have a lot of overlap and it wasn’t until recently that those things weren’t studied together.


I realized that questioning the Bible does not mean that you don’t believe in it because I truly believe everything the Bible says but it means asker deeper questions. It means stepping outside of what we’ve always know and looking at what really matters - the character of God.


Because the character of God looks a lot like loving our neighbor. The character of God looks a lot like extending a hand. The character of God looks a lot like speaking up when you don’t agree with things even when it’s hard. The character of God looks a lot like surrounding yourself with people who don’t look like you. Because the character of God is Jesus and he did all of those things. And that’s who we’re supposed to strive to be. Every single day to every single person.


And I’m struggling. I’m struggling because there are people telling me that Trump is a Christian and he wants to restore America back to God but he won’t condemn white supremacy. I’m struggling because the first people to respond with “All Lives Matter” are the same people who won’t combat systematic racism to ensure that Black Lives Matter so that all lives matter. I’m struggling because people are telling me that everything is a conspiracy and none of it matters but also that I need to risk my life or the lives of people around me to go vote in person. I’m struggling because “all of this will go away when the election is over” yet we’ve actually had a lot of these same issues during the whole life of America. I’m struggling because people are telling me not to vote for Biden when he’s pro-abortion but those same people turn their head at immigrants detained at the border or people locked in prison or feel no desire to support adoption or foster. 


I’m struggling because  we are taught that our Christianity is wrapped up in toxic political views. That somehow I’m less of a Christian because I’m not voting for Trump. But, here’s the thing - the Bible was actually written a really long time before America was here. I know, shocker! America isn’t God’s chosen country. Those things are lies we have made up because we are prideful people. So, if you’re like me, and you’re struggling with who to vote for or what to do or say to your friends and family, remember that we are called to love God, love others, and make disciples. That’s it. We don’t have to check some magical box on Election Day to be a Christian. And regardless of the outcome God is still God. Every single day and our job will always remain the same - imitate Jesus.